When I was just starting my songwriting journey I had to choose whether I want to commit to a collaborative project meaning another person’s livelihood would depend on me. I had a long-lasting mild panic state about whether I could still have kids if I went for it - and spent quite a while working on it with my therapist.
The truth is I can’t not give music a go so I guess I’m just telling myself I still have time, giving my best to music and hoping things will work themselves out naturally…
Apart from musical women who are moms, I was also writing a newsletter yesterday that leaned into the concept of “dad rock” and I stopped to wonder: why is it dad rock? Why is there no such thing as “mom rock”? I realized that in my life I’ve encountered too few moms who were big into music. And those women that are often wouldn’t have kids either. I found that extremely saddening.
I think about this topic a lot Lo, thanks for including me in here. I think it couldn't have been too bad for my daughter (even though I agonized and wished I could give her more stability) as she plays music, DJs - lives it and breathes it. The family business carries on!
The Smith story breaks my heart. One observation: becoming a mother after you’ve made enough money to afford a nanny or other support makes motherhood more of a “when” vs “whether” choice. As you know, having a baby changes your life in ways that you’ll never expect. To work harder and get paid less than men is stressful enough. Mix in the needs of a little one, and it’s no wonder mental and physical health crater. Shit, I waited to get back into music media until my son was 12 and it’s not nearly as demanding (especially from a travel perspective).
One of your most thought provoking pieces Lo. I don't know how you have the time to pull all the threads together, but you always manage to do it. Between all the reading , writing, playing, mothering, travelling and caring you do, you still manage to be kind, gracious and a cherished friend. Love you.
Trying to write with babies and small children was SO hard because holding an idea for a length of unbroken time was impossible. You know I DID choose between writing, parenting and sanity. Why is this compromise so common for women? Because men have never had to create (any art form) without being completely responsible for another human life. Full stop. Great great writing Lo!!!!!!!
I still have trouble holding an idea… and yes it’s the eternal conundrum and there’s no good answers, we just grab what we can while we do what we can x
Can we please stop with mutually demeaning categories like “Dad Rock?” It’s a badge of idiocy to use the phrase. There are as many kinds of Dad Rock as there are dads, and ditto for moms. I won’t tolerate these trite, false classifications. I’m a dad of three adult daughters and granddad to two beautiful young ones. My tastes change constantly. I look forward to exposing my grandkids to everything.
That’s great Wayne - and of course Dad Rock is a ridiculous term! I was trying to make a point about the challenges of combining motherhood and music making, didn’t mean to demean any dads in the process.
When I was just starting my songwriting journey I had to choose whether I want to commit to a collaborative project meaning another person’s livelihood would depend on me. I had a long-lasting mild panic state about whether I could still have kids if I went for it - and spent quite a while working on it with my therapist.
The truth is I can’t not give music a go so I guess I’m just telling myself I still have time, giving my best to music and hoping things will work themselves out naturally…
Apart from musical women who are moms, I was also writing a newsletter yesterday that leaned into the concept of “dad rock” and I stopped to wonder: why is it dad rock? Why is there no such thing as “mom rock”? I realized that in my life I’ve encountered too few moms who were big into music. And those women that are often wouldn’t have kids either. I found that extremely saddening.
I think about this topic a lot Lo, thanks for including me in here. I think it couldn't have been too bad for my daughter (even though I agonized and wished I could give her more stability) as she plays music, DJs - lives it and breathes it. The family business carries on!
Same Amy! My daughter is also a recording & touring musician so my lifestyle can’t have been too traumatising.
The Smith story breaks my heart. One observation: becoming a mother after you’ve made enough money to afford a nanny or other support makes motherhood more of a “when” vs “whether” choice. As you know, having a baby changes your life in ways that you’ll never expect. To work harder and get paid less than men is stressful enough. Mix in the needs of a little one, and it’s no wonder mental and physical health crater. Shit, I waited to get back into music media until my son was 12 and it’s not nearly as demanding (especially from a travel perspective).
Yes all absolutely true - those that can afford support have a hell of a lot more options.
One of your most thought provoking pieces Lo. I don't know how you have the time to pull all the threads together, but you always manage to do it. Between all the reading , writing, playing, mothering, travelling and caring you do, you still manage to be kind, gracious and a cherished friend. Love you.
You’re such a treasured friend Lorenzo, thank you for all the encouragement xx
Trying to write with babies and small children was SO hard because holding an idea for a length of unbroken time was impossible. You know I DID choose between writing, parenting and sanity. Why is this compromise so common for women? Because men have never had to create (any art form) without being completely responsible for another human life. Full stop. Great great writing Lo!!!!!!!
I still have trouble holding an idea… and yes it’s the eternal conundrum and there’s no good answers, we just grab what we can while we do what we can x
That photo of Loene and Sia Furler is a gem! Do you remember where in Adelaide Club Limbo was located? Thanks for a thought-provoking piece.
Can we please stop with mutually demeaning categories like “Dad Rock?” It’s a badge of idiocy to use the phrase. There are as many kinds of Dad Rock as there are dads, and ditto for moms. I won’t tolerate these trite, false classifications. I’m a dad of three adult daughters and granddad to two beautiful young ones. My tastes change constantly. I look forward to exposing my grandkids to everything.
That’s great Wayne - and of course Dad Rock is a ridiculous term! I was trying to make a point about the challenges of combining motherhood and music making, didn’t mean to demean any dads in the process.
Of course Lo. I need to lighten up my messaging, as the compartment in my brain that I call “corporate” tells me.